5 months ago
Single parents now make-up about five percent of the United States military, and the responsibilities to family and country may clash.
Deployments overseas sometimes create custody battles at home. This problem is not just related to deployments. It's any military order that takes a parent away from their children for an extended absence.
The non-military parent sees the military parent's time away as an opportunity to seek full custody of the children, forcing soldiers to fight wars on two fronts.
This story is about the difficulties fighting a custody battle while away on military duty -- not about the merits of a particular custody claim.
At night, Kim Konicki plays the role of homemaker in Bonaire. She holds down the fort for three children and a dog.
But by day, she gives orders as a warrant officer for Macon's 48th Brigade.
Kim Konicki said, "They say the warrant officer program is the best hidden secret in the military, and that was the career path I wanted to choose."
The training, a strenuous seven weeks at Fort Rucker, Alabama, removed her from the life at home in Houston County and its duties to her family.
Konicki said, "It was almost like basic training, except our training was like being in lockdown. We didn't have contact with the outside world."
Konicki could only receive letters from her children, when she wanted to talk with them more than ever. While at Fort Rucker, her ex-husband challenged her for full custody.
She said, "I couldn't talk to them, and it was heart-wrenching, and I was already in an extremely stressful environment, but for me my stress was double."
Fears of losing her children distracted her from her mission.
Konicki was only a state away and gone for about two months.
Warner Robins attorney John Camp says soldiers deployed around the world and away for a year or more face the same dilemma.
John Camp said, "If we really do intend for our service members to devote 100-percent of our time to our country, they can't do it if 90-percent of their time is spent thinking about their children."
Camp says the absence created by deployment opens the door for a non-custodial parent to wage a custody war, often declaring victory before the military parent has a chance to engage. He said, "The military parent feels they're helpless to do anything about it, because they're on other side of the world and have no means of getting into court until they return."
Camp wrote a draft of a bill that addresses the problem. It states that the issue causes problems for the military, including low morale and barriers in recruiting for the Armed Forces.
Camp also knows the issue well. He served as a Judge Advocate General, or JAG, in the Air Force.
He says the "Georgia Military and Family Equal Protection Act" should call a cease-fire between parents, at least until the service member comes home. It would prevent judges from making final custody rulings while a parent is on military assignment, and military duty could not be considered as a factor in deciding custody. It also contains provisions for military parents to delegate their visitation rights to other members of their family, such as grandparents. The bill would also require the non-military parent to allow the military parent to have access to the child through letters, e-mail's, phone calls and other means of communication while they are away.
View Outline of Georgia Military & Family Equal Protection Act
If it's passed , Georgia would become one of five states with laws in place to automatically return children to the military parent after deployment. The states which already have the law are Kentucky, Maryland, South Carolina, Tennessee and Washington.
Kim Konicki says if soldiers swear their service to the country, they should be assured of their rights when they return. She said, "They are going because they have a mission. They are fighting for our freedom and fighting for the freedom of their very own children who are waiting at home for them."
She retained primary custody of her children after a year in court and at least $15,000 in legal fees. Konicki has never deployed to a combat zone, but considers her greatest battle the one she fought at home.
The Georgia Military Parent and Family Equal Protection Act also contains provisions for the non-military parent. It requires the military member to provide documentation of their deployment and child support payments while they're away.
