MACON, Ga. — Got a hankering to be the most macho of all the macho men who brag, drink and strut around their favorite bars? How about identifying with the college football jock who’s bruising tackle just caused a fumble that was recovered by your team?
If you find yourself in that position, you should identify with the name, "Savage."
For a fellow who’s been a Savage all his life, I find It amusing that the name Savage has become prominent in retail sales and sporting events. It has become the name that turns wimps into warriors and couch potatoes into all Americans.
I don’t know if this fad began when the late Randall Mario Poffo took his mom’s advice and used the moniker "Macho Man" Randy Savage to kick off his professional wrestling career, but I do know that mail-order retailers, particularly those who peddle t-shirts, are using the name Savage to fatten their wallets.
One company offers what it calls the Savage Row Tee. It’s a black t-shirt with white lettering. The word Savages is on the top, followed by two rows of six, two-digit numbers. The word underneath the numbers if “Row.”
If you’re a New York Yankees baseball fan, there’s a t-shirt for you. It has a red, white and blue top hat on the front of a gray t-shirt. A red baseball bat runs from inside the hat down the shirt. The word Savages is written across the t-shirt.
Another of the Savage t-shirts has a word unfit to print. It’s a black shirt with white letters written in cursive. The first letter is the unprintable “F” word, which is followed by the name Savages.
If you’re a college football fan, you’ve probably heard of the University of Georgia’s football team. They’re nicknamed the Bulldogs or Dogs. Around the UGA football nation, dogs is spelled, "dawgs." Some of the fans pretend they don’t know Dawgs isn’t spelled correctly, but they can yell “woof, woof, woof” with the best of them, and they really love to woof it up when one of the Dawg defenders does something really good.
When the defender reaches the sideline, he’s anointed with shoulder pads that has spikes sticking out. The word Savage and a big “G” is on the pad’s back side. When the Savage pads are put in place, the Dawg fans acknowledge their appreciation with a couple of woof, woof, woof rounds.
There probably isn’t a true, born-with-name Savage on the team. It’s also unlikely that the majority of the people who buy the Savage t-shirts are born-with-name Savage.
But when it comes to t-shirts, I’m seriously considering purchasing a black one with the unprintable “F” word written in bold letters across the chest. If the Georgia Dawgs decide to sell those spiked shoulder pads with Savage written on the back, I would consider buying one of those as well.
I could display my mood by wearing both the t-shirt and pads when mowing my grass.