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An American's guide to Eurovision

 

How do European countries coexist in harmony? You can thank Eurovision.

 

How do European countries coexist in harmony? You can thank Eurovision.

The Eurovision Song Contest is an annual singing competition created by the European Broadcasting Union in 1956 to try to prevent another cataclysm like World War II. But what started as a noble peace-making mission has devolved into a trippy spectacle in which 42 countries compete to prove who can put on the most flamboyant performance.

Swedish pop group ABBA rose to fame through Eurovision, as did Celine Dion (competing for Switzerland of all places). But you probably won’t see any high-brow Europop when the 2016 Eurovision airs its finale for the first time in the United States on Saturday. Think American Idol with more leather, or people literally wearing bedazzled tinfoil jumpsuits -- like these guys from the 2007 Eurovision contest.

Despite its origins, Eurovision rarely gets political -- save in 2012 when Montenegro's performer rapped about the financial crisis, or this year's interval act performance from 2016 host Sweden about the Syrian refugee crisis.

The “Euro” part of the title is a little misleading -- Russia, Morocco, Israel and even Australia have become regular competitors at Eurovision. And for the first time, the U.S. will get to witness Eurovision, with the finale to be broadcast live on Viacom’s Logo Network.

Why should you care?

In its 60-year history, Eurovision has only grown in popularity and absurdity, spawning glorious performances with singers clad in what can only be described as glam medieval fetishwear.

Some countries don’t even bother trying, like when Russia sent a group of grannies to sing out of tune and dance to disco.

If that doesn’t sway you, Eurovision is a fascinating look into the state of Europe’s political affairs, as the voting system for the winners parallel the shaky alliances between neighboring countries. Plus, whichever country wins gets to host the next year’s competition, and it’s hilarious seeing debt-riddled countries like Greece try to troll their way out of the competition.

This year, the U.S. also has more of a stake. Justin Timberlake is set to perform his new single Can’t Stop This Feeling during the interval act (a somewhat similar way to how Australia snuck itself into the show in 2014).

But really, if you haven’t been persuaded by watching those last couple of clips already, there’s no hope.

Watch Eurovision if you like: the chariot part of The Hunger Games unironically, or the opening ceremonies of the Olympics if they were 75% more gay.

We’ll leave you with the winner of the 2006 Eurovision: a metal rock band from Finland dressed like sexy Lord of the Rings orcs.

 

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